Best 5 Strategies To Never Run Out Of Things To Say With Anyone

Being shy can hold you back from reaching your potential and achieving your goals. If you’re looking for ways to break out of your shell, this article will give you some useful tips. I want you to remember that this journey is going to make you feel uncomfortable. Big deal. It is not going to kill you and remember this is for your greater good. Learning how to talk to people will help you in ALL aspects of your life. 

Defining shyness

Shyness is often defined as a lack of social confidence or an uneasy feeling around other people. It can also be described as a fear of social situations or a fear of being judged by others. While shyness is not necessarily bad, it can make life difficult and limit your ability to enjoy social situations or meet new people. 

Now you may not believe that you have social skills but think about how easy it is to talk to your close friend where conversations flow naturally and you don’t really worry about the awkward silence or what to talk about next. If you don’t have anyone you talk to and just talk to yourself in your head all day, that is still a conversation flowing naturally. Now let’s begin attacking this shyness of yours with some methods.

Methods to get rid of shyness:

TOL method

This method may seem weird at first glance but it definitely helped me out at the beginning of my journey. Basically in this method, you practice thinking out loud. The purpose is to build that habit of speaking your mind. A lot of the time you are not an awkward person, we are social animals after all. The thing that is holding you back is bad experiences in the past that could have traumatized you but what I want you to remember is that most people will listen to you and treat you with a baseline of respect because they expect the same from you. Though it will feel weird at first, this method will also allow you to follow a string of thoughts that just randomly appear, kind of like a conversation. Even if someone does overhear you talking just say you’re thinking out loud, and that it helps you clear your mind. No one will think much of it afterward and it even allows someone to jump in on what you’re thinking and start a conversation with you naturally. 

The FORD method

What are the benefits of the FORD method?

The FORD method helps you build strong and coherent conversations by providing a set of topics that can be used as staples in any conversation. The more you get to know someone, the more questions you can ask to dig deeper into their life.

Family is…

Asking about a person’s family is a safe topic of conversation because this is something that most people talk about. You can use the information they have already told you to ask more interesting questions.

Remember, people care about their partners, friends, and even their pets as part of the family.

Example questions:

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

What is the backstory of how you two met?

A question to see if your child is ready

5 Questions You Should Ask Your Family Members

You can use questions about people you both know for the conversation with a family member.

What did you think about (meeting with a friend, event)?

What has (person’s relative) been up to?

Avoid these family topics

It is important to respect privacy and avoid sensitive topics. Asking about personal issues or making assumptions can seem rude or intrusive. Keep in mind that not all family problems have the same resolutions.

Do you plan on having kids?

When will you and (partner) tie the knot?

Are you close/not close with your parents?

Why does ____ (family member) not get along with you?

Career

Asking about what someone does for a living can be an easy icebreaker.

What’s your profession?

What do you like about working at ____?

What’s the highlight of your day?

How did your career at _____ start?

It’s important to be mindful of interpersonal boundaries, like the difference between professional and personal. Socializing at work can lead to more success because it calls on your social skills, compassion, and intuition.

These are awesome questions to ask coworkers:

How long have you been working here?

What are the best parts of your job?

Any thoughts on that recent training/workshop/meeting?

Questions not to ask someone

Work can also be personal and you want to avoid questions that cross boundaries. Don’t ask:

How much money can you make?

Is that company ethical?

What is there to like about working there?

What do you think of your coworkers?

Recreation (or Hobbies)

When you first get to know someone, it’s often difficult to pinpoint what they enjoy doing. These questions should help you understand what someone is interested in and how they want to be seen by others.

What do you do in your spare time?

What are your thoughts on _____(popular show/book)?

What are you going to do this weekend?

You should have hobbies and interests of your own to connect with others in conversation. If you don’t contribute to the conversation, it will quickly become one-sided and boring for you.

Find friends who share your interests

Once you find someone who has the same passions as you, ask them these questions to deepen your conversation.

Do you remember the first time you did (hobby)?

Have you tried ____ (related technique or event)?

What other activities do you enjoy outside of your hobbies?

Questions to avoid in your recreational conversation

It’s hard to “mess up” a recreation-related question, but you should still be aware of being judgmental and rude.

Questions to avoid:

So, is it that hard?

How much does it cost?

Don’t you get bored of doing that?

I thought only _____ (certain types of people) did that?

Dreams And Ambitions

Dreams can tie into a person’s inner goals and desires and open the door for deeper conversations.

While they’re not always appropriate for starting off a conversation with someone, they can help build rapport when you’ve already established a connection with someone.

What are your goals for the next few years?

What are your top five travel destinations?

What are you looking forward to in the future?

Have you ever considered trying (hobby)?

Prepare your own answers to this strategy

In addition to asking the right questions, it’s important that you know how to maintain a conversation. practice implementing the FORD method in all your conversation naturally.

In order to have a meaningful relationship with another person, you need to give as well as take. Pay attention to others’ answers and think about how you can use your own experience in order to connect.

If your life is never interesting write down on the notes app some stories that always get a laugh and don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself in the conversation. It will make you more human and others will find it easier to connect with you.

This will help keep your conversations interesting. The more you keep yourself active, curious, and enriched, the more you can offer to others.

By trying new things, you will become a better conversationalist. You could start by talking to new people, taking classes that you want, and joining in on new activities.

Stay vulnerable

To appear as a vulnerable individual, you should share personal information such as your occupation and dreams. You don’t have to tell your entire life story.

You should share extra information to let them know you understand where they’re coming from. For example, if someone tells you about a bad break-up and you’ve been through it too, mention that in the conversation. Or if someone wants to quit their job, you can mention that it’s not uncommon to want to do that and that maybe they should find something else.

Frequently Asked Questions

Learn how to find the best FORD topic for your situation

If you’re not sure what to talk about, asking “what do you do for a living?” is a good conversation starter.

Try to tie your answer to their question. This can help create a dialogue with the person and make them feel more at ease. For example, you could share that your brother also works in sales, or you could share that you used to work in sales and it was difficult.

How to move to a new topic

The best way of keeping a conversation flowing is to increase your social intelligence. There’s no right or wrong answer – it comes down to what you find easiest. For those who struggle day-to-day, it may be necessary to develop this skill through trial and error. But for the most part, if someone seems excited about a topic it’s best to let them continue to talk about it. Ask them questions like what’s your favorite thing about the topic or how long have you been interested in that topic. People do love to share things they’re passionate about. Once you think there is nothing left to say, this is a perfect time for you to share what you’re passionate about and since you seemed to be genuinely interested in them, they will in return share the enthusiasm. 

It takes practice to be a good small talker. When you’re in social situations, try to make observations about what’s happening, and say anything that comes to mind.

What to do when your mind is blank:

This is why I mentioned writing down stories that have happened to you that you think is funny or that have gotten a laugh in the past. As weird as this sounds I have a list of funny stories in my notes app that I continue to use when I am thinking of what else to say but nothing comes. They’re great stories I love sharing and the best part is that I can continue to reuse them with new people every time. But, the best conversations always come from the most interesting person. You have to be involved in life and have topics to talk about, to create quality content. Talk about the hobbies you do, or share your passions with the world. The more you say, the more your audience will like what you have to say.

What are the best things to say during a conversation?

First, read the room. If the person you are speaking to is talkative, ask questions encouraging them to talk more. If they are quieter, focus on making comments that connect with a shared experience. My go-to line is always the weather. Again, super corny but people love talking about the weather. If it’s super cold you can say things like “I can’t believe it’s so cold here!”. Wait for their response. Then say “This reminds me of the time I was with my dad and our truck got stuck in the middle of a snow storm” It doesn’t have to be that dramatic but you get the point.

Recap

One thing I want you to remember is that this process is going to feel uncomfortable. Just like trying out a new sport or playing a new video game. It is for everyone who tries something new but the good thing is that this is only temporary. After a couple of weeks, you’ll start to notice progress and you might even start to enjoy it. Just prepare yourself mentally for this feeling because it is probably going to be the hardest part. It is in our nature to fear change but I am here to tell you there is nothing to be afraid of. This is probably one of the best skills you should learn and there are countless benefits that will come from it. Just try to do this consistently for three weeks and write down what you want to improve in and track your progress in a journal. If after those three weeks you still feel like this hasn’t done anything for you then you have my permission to quit. But just have fun with this process and I’m sure you’ll be fine!